Don't eat too much bread!

Proverbs 31: 27

‘She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.’

Upon looking up the dictionary definition of the word ‘idle’ I came across one of the meanings that seemed very interesting, namely ‘not in use or operation’. Have you ever felt like that? Today I am not going to be in “use or operation” and there will be a do not disturb sign outside my door. Maybe this was possible when you were being looked after by mom but now that the Lord has blessed you with a husband and children to look after it would literally be impossible to be out of operation for a whole day!
Another question: Have you ever eaten too much bread? How did you feel? Eating too much white bread in particular can make one feel very tired and bloated. This is the picture I get in my mind when considering this verse. Don’t sit around and eat too much bread, become idle, not looking to the ways of your household and then wonder why everything around you is decay and difficulty!
The Proverbs 31 woman is effective as a mother and homemaker and you can be sure she is never out of operation unless for a very serious reason. What keeps us as modern day women out of operation so to speak and how do we eat the bread of idleness in our homes. Let us take an honest look at what this Scripture teaches us and pray for conviction in any areas of our life that need correcting.

Idle busyness

The above heading may well seem a contradiction in terms. How can one be idle while at the same time being busy? Have you ever been convicted by God’s Holy Spirit that you are too busy? Too busy with other things. Too busy visiting, too busy shopping, too busy cleaning? Firstly, as we have been encouraged in our book study (Beautiful in God’s Eyes Chapter 20), our first point of scheduling should be around God and our meeting time with Him. This may be difficult with small children and especially when babies wake up earlier than expected. But just because our schedules are bumped off target every now and then does not mean we get to throw up our hands in frustration and say what’s the point. By God’s grace the sun will rise tomorrow at the dawn of a new day and we will get to try and implement our ideal day once again!
Another point regarding being too busy can be visiting friends and socialising. The endless argument from so many quarters with regard to homeschooling is the socialisation aspect. It is never questioned as to whether it is good for children to spend, sometimes up to 12 hours a day together, as opposed to spending a few hours together a week. This can make for some conflicting emotions. Have my children had enough outings or do I need to get them out more? This can lead to endless play dates, outings and visits. In and of themselves there is nothing wrong with these things BUT too much activity outside the home is idleness because we are neglecting things at home. It is idleness, as if we are not at home when are all the tasks going to be completed, tasks like cleaning, preparing nutritious meals which takes more effort, looking after our husbands and setting the right example for our children. Life should not revolve around children’s fun and entertainment. We need to show our children that we are content to be at home and that we actually take great joy in being at home. Scripture is quite clear that we should be teaching our children all the time, when we eat or drink, wake up, go to sleep etc. (Deuteronomy 6) and these opportunities come around while being at home with adults and not only peers. We all love to delight our children and take them on an outing but rather than it being every day, surprise them and they will appreciate it more.
Many children as they get older may complain of boredom at home, this may be us as parents at fault. Firstly, there are worse things to be than bored. Secondly, there is much to be done at home and this includes training children ‘in the way they should go’. One of the ways to do this is to teach children about work from an early age. It is much more time consuming but the rewards later in life will far outweigh any disadvantages. Some chores can be made fun while others just have to be done; all the while we are teaching our children valuable lessons about work so they will not be idle one day. It is your child’s job to help set the table but they are watching a DVD, teach them now that their chores are more important than self-gratification. Can you imagine how valuable this will be for them as they grow older? God’s Word is clear in its exhortation to complete our work properly and to do so for our Lord’s glory. This places a different slant on our work as we should be doing it with a happy heart and attitude. Remember the Proverbs 31 woman works with her hands in delight or with eager hands (v. 13). Look at another verse from Proverbs ‘Slothfulness casts into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger’ (19:15). In our last study, we also considered Matthew 12:36 as to how every idle word spoken will be judged by God, there is so much to learn for ourselves and teach our children just from a few verses in God’s precious Word.

Yes, being at home is sometimes hard. It can be tiring and lonely but our home is our ‘workplace’ and we need to see it as such. Even with domestic help, which is such a blessing, there will still be loads of tasks ready for completion. Whatever the case we need to teach our children that being at home is great, they won’t find all the fun out there away from home. This will help to ‘keep your (and their) heart/s with all diligence for out of it spring the issues of life’ (Proverbs 4:23). Home should be where the ‘heart’ is.

Our Lord’s will be done

Ultimately an excellent wife is one who is endeavouring to live her life in obedience to Christ and doing the will of the Father. This will always be the beginning of any true change that lasts. Many women stay at home while others work and both are miserable. The key is not staying home; the key is walking with our Lord. ‘Lord, what is it You want me to do with my time right now? It may well be that you should go and visit a sick relative or take the children for an outing but it may also be to go and sit and read with your children or start that to do list. Let each one of us ask that question daily as many times as necessary so that we may indeed glorify God and do His will in our homes.
In writing a letter to his son, dated 20th July 1749, Lord Chesterfield had the following to say ‘Idleness is only the refuge of weak minds, and the holiday of fools.’ How true. We as Christians should not have weak minds for they belong to God and let us never take a holiday with fools as we are ambassadors of Christ while on this pilgrimage.

Personal practical points

With being pregnant again – I must admit I am tired! It is increasingly frustrating as when the children do synchronise a sleep I have a ton of things to do yet feel so nauseous and tired I often flake out for half an hour or more. I feel like I am being left behind, if that makes sense. But then I am reminded that this is just for a season and another little one is a great gift from the Lord. A strong cup of coffee at night helps me to get any legal work done but as we have discussed my ‘real work’ is my home and family. So to this end I am going to start a Home Management File. I am sure many of you already have one of these but I still feel I am playing catch up when it comes to home management – teach your daughters well moms – I was saved by God’s grace after some years of rebellion and the Lord is thankfully changing my desires and smoothing over the cracks in my talents J
Lord willing, I am going to do this slowly and not try do everything at once as one of the keys to being organised is doing a little at a time otherwise it is overwhelming.
Some of the titles under the index will be as follows: Devotion & Hymns (Personal & family), Prayer Lists, Menu plans (current for one month), Sunday School (current weekly), Youth club (current weekly), Homeschooling (current weekly), Daily to do list, Joyful Womanhood (current).
I will then endeavour to place all these in other files that are already in place or being opened at the end of each week or month. Even if all these topics are only filed monthly that won’t matter as at least they are being stored in one place. At present I have no proper system and as a result I have lists all over the house. I am hoping to be able to streamline this from now on.

Suggested Reading: -

1. Shopping for Time - Caralyn Mahaney et al
2. Life Management for Busy Women - Elizabeth George
3. Disciplines of a Godly Woman - Barbara Hughes