GODLINESS BEFORE GIFTEDNESS

Proverbs 31: 19

‘She stretches out her hand to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle.’

A Spinster by trade
As I read and re-read this verse two words struck me as being of importance, namely ‘stretches’ and ‘holds’. This woman knows how to apply herself to a task that is important and has the diligence to see it through even if it has to be done at night. She is not loathe to do what needs to be done even though the work is not necessarily interesting or noteworthy to others.
In reading up more on this topic I came across the reminder that a woman could be called a ‘distaff’ just like in modern times we know of a spinster. A spinster! That word generally conjures up terrible images of a grumpy old woman who never smiles and sits at home unmarried, with no children and only a bitter existence. Why should a woman who spent her time weaving and spinning be known only in a negative context? Did not this work need special effort and dedication for the benefit of others? The answer can be found in what we discussed last week where we again realised how secular reasoning has so infiltrated our minds that we really have to go before God and ask Him to mould us anew. Being a spinster or stretching out to the distaff was not a bad occupation and we only have this picture of a spinster because people have used the word to categorise a woman who has not gone out and taken what she wants by force but has rather decided to stay at home and be useful doing something with her hands.
Acts 9 tells us of another lady who made clothing or who could be called a spinster – Tabitha or Dorcas meaning Gazelle – the bible tells us ‘she was full of good works and acts of charity. .. The widows stood beside him (Peter) weeping showing tunics and other garments that Dorcas made while she was with them.’ (Acts 9:36; 43). This does not sound like the way we would describe a spinster in modern times. People were mourning her death and praised her for the things she did and the items of clothing she had made to provide for those in need. It would seem in God’s eyes a spinster or a woman who stretches out her hand to the distaff was doing something useful and today we should be reminded that it is God’s word that tells us what is true and important and therefore we should seek His good pleasure and not copy the world’s ideas.

Drudgery or Delight?
A few weeks ago we were staying in Sandton and we visited the Bryanston Organic Market and there was a man busy spinning thread, I had thought it was a lost art but he said there are still people who are being trained. It was beautiful to watch and obviously since he is so skilled at what he does, he truly made it look easy. Apart from making it look easy, something else struck me as I watched his skilful hands – his work was monotonous. Over and over while he sat there he was doing the same thing and would continue long after we had left watching him. This illustration made me think of monotony in my own life. How many times will I change nappies, read stories, bath our children, prepare meals, and attend to administration issues? Probably more time than I can count will be spent doing these things and yet it is what most women complain about. How is the Proverbs 31 woman different? There is no hint of complaint or a disparaging attitude as she takes real joy in what she is doing and perseveres so that she can see the fruit of her endeavours.

Before being converted I had many aspirations as to what legal firm I would be working in, how much money I would eventually make and what I would spend the money on. Let me be honest, in my selfish ways, the prospect of marriage and children was a very distant if not inconceivable idea. I had bought into the lie that being a stay-at-home mother would never be my lot in life and the idea of homeschooling would have been a nightmare. But then God had mercy on me. Now I belong to Him I don’t have to buy into those lies anymore. Being a wife and mother does not mean drudgery. I believe that this is another way that, we as Christian women, have bought into society’s thinking is in this area. If we believe this we are not really applying biblical thinking and a biblical worldview in all aspects of our lives. Most women of this day and age complain about their many responsibilities and the tediousness of being at home with children. Some women will say they admire those who stay at home and look after children yet they believe they could never do it. Should that read don’t want to instead of could not?
God truly changes us and now we can be committed to doing those things which we know are truly fulfilling and will build families for years to come. If we look around us we will see that the family unit is under great attack. We have a divorce rate that is higher than at any other time in history, homosexual families with children and teenagers who are being left to their own devices. Obeying God’s Word must come before any other kind of giftedness that we have and in doing so we can ask God to show us how we can use our gifts and talents at home for the benefit of our families. This will in turn mean husbands who are able to be the men God wants them to be with wives who manage their homes and help raise children in a supportive atmosphere.

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. Proverbs 14:1

This Scripture so aptly shows us that a wise woman builds her house. Each one of us can begin our days asking God how we can build ‘our house’, that is whatever and whomever we come into contact with for the benefit of those closest to us. We are not to be foolish with our time, our skills, and our creativity but rather utilise this in ways that strengthen rather than weaken our homes. Are we building those around us up in our roles as wife, mother, friend etc? Moms and wives are we building our homes or tearing them down? Let us take the example of the excellent woman and not be foolish but use our gifts and skills to complete the work God has given us for His glory and without grumbling or complaint!

Practical ways to build a home using your abilities

1. Use your sewing abilities in your home by mending clothes, this will save you money in the long run and you will be amazed at what can be done. Our dog chewed a jacket of mine and the inside of Gren’s tracksuit pants, both have been mended and look like new.

2. Teach your children to do things in the home like chores but also how to make things out of common items found in the house. I downloaded an old book that is no longer copyrighted called Handmade Toys for Boys and Girls and it will be such fun as the children get older learning how to make things with our hands.

3. The book we are endeavouring to put together would be another example of a good way to build your home. Make a recipe file and start building it up so that one day those in your family can benefit from your ideas.

4. Start family traditions like a special cake or treat every birthday, Thanksgiving dinner, godly Christ-exalting celebrations at Easter and Christmas, a family evening or date night with your spouse. In Disciplines of a Godly Family the Hughes write of a tradition when their children were a bit older that they would wake them up late at night or early morning and do a pyjama drill to the nearest ice cream shop or late night roadhouse (our equivalent) for a special treat.

5. Have a take away evening where you prepare healthier options for your family and they get to build their own burgers/pizza etc at half the price and double the fun.

Yes it all takes time but it’s worth it!