“She rises also while it is yet night, and gives food to her household and work to her maids.”
As I sit and look at my desk that needs sorting, my filing that has not been completed and the list continues, the topic of discipline seems very appropriate to my own situation. Although lack of time can often play an integral part in the fact that we cannot complete all we have or want to do but couple this with ill-discipline and frustration will be the result.
Self-discipline in a Christian context
Self-discipline can often be very misunderstood but we as Christian women need to understand it in its correct context. It is not discipline for discipline’s sake. What do I mean by that? As an example a woman who goes to the gym everyday would be considered a disciplined person. She is looking after her appearance and perhaps has to get up very early to make sure she gets her workout in. But could this self-discipline come at a cost? Perhaps she neglects her family as a result and is not concerned with caring for their needs because she is frantic about getting to her workout, if she is a Christian she may neglect time spent with God in His Word, she may not be available to help others who need her help because of her exercise commitments and the list goes on. Therefore as Christian women our self-discipline has to come from a love and desire to please our Lord first and thereafter our husband and children. Therefore we can have time to exercise, attend to personal devotion and other chores if we take a page from the Proverbs 31 excellent woman’s page and rise early!
In considering this topic I have really realised once again that God is a God of order and not disorder. He created this world in six literal days and rested on the seventh (Genesis 1:1 – 2:7) and that is a picture of how we should live, we have day time in which to complete our work and night time for resting (unless you are up feeding little ones!), we have different seasons to enjoy and different times of life that are all ordained by God. We need to realise that it pleases God when we discipline ourselves to make good use of the time He gives to us. At the same time we also need to realise that the more disciplined we are in all aspects of our lives as Christians the greater will be what we can accomplish in 24 hours to God’s glory. Surely you must know what I mean, think of a good day, when you got up early, spent time in personal devotion and prepared properly for your day, it doesn’t mean that you went through the day with ease and no difficulties but you did have the requisite patience as given by God and the necessary planning meant you were able to maximise your time. These are the days we should strive for so that at the end of a day we can praise God for all we accomplished and thank Him for His many benefits. Our self-discipline will lead to spiritual growth in our lives as we are taught to ‘ number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom’ (Psalm 90:12)
We need to know our priorities
The Proverbs 31 woman is the epitome of self-discipline in that she ensures she rises early, prepares food and schedules her day during the early morning hours. I can picture this woman sitting with a shawl round her hard at work so that her day would be ordered and controlled. In considering this I also dwelt on the fact that the most important way we can start our day is to sit at the Master’s feet and ask our Lord to order our day according to His will and for us to be obedient. This in itself calls for self-discipline
The Gospel should motivate us every day to rise early and thank God for the grace He has bestowed on us. This will in turn cause us to be grateful for every other good gift that comes from our Father’s Hand – with this in my mind we can pray to Him and ask for all the strength we need to face the day with joy and to also ask for opportunities to share the Gospel with others both in our home and outside. Start today with one area of your life in which you find you lack discipline and ask the Lord to help you daily (perhaps even hourly!)
Personal Story
Last year I read the book Shopping for Time by Carolyn Mahaney et al, it was filled with practical wisdom for being a wife and mother using the analogy of shopping. I was challenged to begin starting my day at 5am, during the same time, Natalie and Rosa had begun to wake up at 5am by giving each other a wakeup call, I asked if I could join and soon we were giving each other a 5am phone call. It went well for a while but pregnancy tiredness set in for all of us. The point being that this was a time I really enjoyed and the fruit of it was a much more ordered day having begun with time in study and prayer as well as planning for the day ahead. I really look forward to getting back into the habit soon! I encourage you, as Elizabeth George does in her book, to rise earlier than you are now, I know I have been challenged afresh to do this as it will benefit me and my family. Think of what a good example you will also be for your family and I know that is how I will be able to catch up on administration and planning for my day. Perhaps we can start our own 5am club!
Lastly a few weeks ago while at the breakfast table I read a prayer from Valley of Vision called Morning Dedication the last few lines of which read as follows:
May I speak each word as if my last word,
And walk each step as my final one.
If my life should end today, let this be my best day.
Questions
1. Her schedule – What is the first thing we learn about the schedule of God’s Proverbs 31 woman?
As you consider the remainder of verse 15, what can you surmise were some of her reasons for early rising?
Name some others in the Bible who are noted for early rising. Note their reasons for this discipline.
- Genesis 19:27
- Psalm 5:3
- Mark 1:35
- Luke 24:1
2. Her family – How did the godly woman, wife, and mother of Proverbs 31 serve her family at this early hour?
Who else did she take care of (verse 15)?
3. Her plan – Verse 15 is the only verse in this passage from Proverbs 31 that contains three lines. Technically, it’s called a triplet. How does the third line in your Bible read?
The Proverbs 31 woman rose early not only to feed her family and her maidens, but to assign them their duties for the day. She gave her maidens their “portion” or “task”, meaning whatever is appointed. In other words, they received their instructions and work chores for the day. Clearly this wise and disciplined woman got up early, made a plan, and then delegated the day’s work to her helpers and to herself. What do these scriptures teach us about the wisdom of planning and organising?
- Proverbs 16:3
- Proverbs 21:5
What caution should we take as we approach our grand plans according to James 4:13-15?
Your schedule – Just as ships “rise” on the sea (Proverbs 31:14) God’s faithful woman also “rises” early. Take a minute now to remember and describe a morning that started up before you did! Then describe one when you were the first one up. What were some of the differences?
Your early rising – Of course there are exceptions and reasons why we sometimes don’t get up early, but what is it that usually keeps you from being an early riser?
Your plan – what steps can you take to make headway on establishing the pattern of getting up a little earlier? List at least three.
Some notes from John MacArthur’s sermon – The Art of Self-Discipline:
One is to begin with small things...to begin with small things. Learn to discipline yourself in the little things of life because it is the little things of life that make for the big successes. You must begin with the small things. Every little issue of life has to carry weight and importance, not because, listen carefully to this, not because in itself it's important, but your integrity, your credibility, your word is important even in little things. And learning to train yourself in those little things is absolutely essential.
Another principle, and I'm not elucidating these but just kind of suggesting them as food for thought, another one is clean your environment. What do I mean by that? Get rid of all that stuff, clean your desk, your room, your house, your garage, there's a thought. Just become discontent with a mess in general. Get yourself to the place where orderliness matters. Some people need a lot of help in this area. But learn how to get rid of the excess, learn how to trim down, learn how to keep your environment clean and clear so that you can function without a myriad of distractions and so that you've made decisions and selections about what matters, what doesn't, what's important, what isn't.
Make a schedule, that's a third one. I'm not necessarily suggesting that you have a daytimer book and you write down every breath you're going to take through the day, or that you put up some big calendar in your house. But I am saying make a schedule and learn to conform to it, whether it's an absolute hard and fast schedule which appeals to the engineer type sort of accountant type folks, or whether it's a little more fluid, but nonetheless you can anticipate things and you can establish time frames in which they need to be done and learn to train yourself to keep that schedule.
Another principle of developing self-discipline is to wean yourself off of being entertained so that entertainment becomes for you really something that's arbitrary...you can take it or leave it. Get yourself to the place where you if you have excess time do things that are productive rather than sit and be entertained. Entertainment, makes a very, very small contribution to your well being and to your success. Wean yourself off of being entertained. Another alternative, how about this, read or take a walk with somebody, or have a conversation, or plant flowers or something.
Another principle that I learned long ago and is very important to me is to be on time...be on time. That means you can order your little universe so you can get where you need to get when you're supposed to be there, clothed and in your right mind. Learn to be on time. Even in small things, even in insignificant things because it says an awful lot about how your life is ordered and how you've preplanned all the stops between here and where you need to be at that moment. It's very important, and it says volumes to the people are supposed to meet you there about how important it is for you to be with them.
Keep your word, that's another one, even in the littlest things...keep your word. If you say you're going to do it, do it and do it when you're going to do it and do it the way you said you'd do it because your word is so important. Don't make promises you don't keep. Make commitments and see them through. That calls for discipline. That calls for discipline before you make the commitment because you have to look and evaluate the time, your talent and the capability that you have circumstantially to pull it off. Once you've made your commitment, keep your word in the littlest thing. It might be the smallest thing, learn to keep your word and you'll begin to keep your word in big things. Another thing that has really helped me through the years is to do the hardest task first. Always do the hardest task first. Whatever is most difficult, that's what you want to begin with. And save the very easiest thing for last. Most people work on the reverse. And when they run out of time, and they've run out of energy, then they have an excuse not to do what they should have done first because it was most difficult and probably most important.
Another principle of self-discipline is to finish what you start...finish what you start. Some people's lives are just a long litany of unfinished stuff. If you start it, finish it. That is a tremendously important principle of self-discipline, finish what you start.
Here's another one. Practice self-denial...practice self-denial just for the sake of self-denial. Just say no so you can say to yourself, "Self, you can say no when you want to." I mean, it might be something you would like to do, might be something that's fine to do, just say no so you can remind yourself you're still in charge and you're not completely at the whim of your impulse. I've suggested even that next time you have the opportunity to eat a triple decker, super-big banana split, topped with chocolate and all of that, you might just say no, just so you can say to your stomach, "See, I'm still in charge." It's good to practice self-denial.
And then another thing that I think is really good for self-discipline is to volunteer, is to just volunteer for tasks. That means you've got to leave a little space in your life, you've got to have your life ordered well enough to say, "Hey, I'd like to try that, I'd like to step into that, I want to help over there." And you subject yourself to something that really isn't a part of your own agenda, but it's necessary and it calls for some order in your life.
Written by
Ruth Phillips
