Proverbs 31:12
The verse is a simple one to understand yet a very difficult one to apply!
The wife is consistent in her conduct toward her husband, always pursuing his best interests. The noble wife does her husband good “all the days of her life,” i.e., in good times or bad, in the springtime of youthful romance, and in the waning years of declining age. Her love, based on high principles, knows no change or diminution. She fully justifies the confidence he placed in her when he chose her to be his bride. Source: Old Testament Survey Series: The Wisdom Literature and Psalms |
WHY?
Why would we want to be good towards our husbands. Our biggest motivation should really be in understanding that God is good. (Do your own personal study on the Goodness of God)
HOW?
How can we consistently do good to our husbands? Paul writes:
"For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.
Romans 7:18
This portion of scripture is part of many modern debates. Is it talking about a regenerate or degenerate person. I, at this point believe its talking about a regenerate person, a sinner who is saved. The scripture brings to attention that there is no good thing that dwells in the flesh. The desire to please the Lord is in the spirit. The flesh always goes against the spirit.
Have you ever tried really hard to please your husband and failed miserably as you are not consistent and just want to give up.
You need come to the point of acknowledging that you are weak in the flesh to the Lord and then find strength and Grace from Him. Did you know that we can only please the Lord when we are doing His will. God has designed his will to be impossible to achieve in our own strength. We can only carry out Gods will, being obedient to Him, by the strength that He gives us and by the Grace that He gives us.
Therefore it is very important to understand that we need to realise that we cannot do good to our husbands all the days of our lives unless we humble ourselves before the Lord, admit our weakness and cry out for Gods grace and strength to enable to be a good wife. This is what will please the Lord!
We all have to come to the end of ourselves in trying to do good in our own strength and realise that we are weak and cannot attain to Gods standard but only by Gods strength we can attain to the will of God by His Grace every moment of the day! |
DOING GOOD TO OUR HUSBANDS
A godly woman does good in three areas; thought, words and actions
Thoughts. A godly woman's thoughts concerning her husband are edifying and good. It is harmful to think evil things of our husbands. Examine your thoughts towards your husbands. When you realise that you are thinking evil thoughts, go to the Lord immediately and confess the thought and ask the Lord to change your heart. Put off the previous thought and put on good thoughts towards your husband. Some examples of common thoughts; adulteress thoughts of any kind, comparison of your life and what it could of been like, the past, dwelling on any bitternesses towards your husband, thinking of ways which your husband could be better, etc.
Words. Its time to examine your words to and about your husband. A woman tends to have the desire and ability to talk more than most men. We need to be very cautious about our words, especially if they are about or towards your husband. We can never take our words back, they influence the way people think of others and words can be harmful. Whether we are talking to close relatives, our friends or our husbands, be slow to speak. Think about everything you say before you say them. Some examples of harmful words; quick hurtful comments, complaining about finance, breaking husbands character down, etc. There is also the lack of words in certain situations, eg; encouragement, prayer, biblical correction, lack of communicating which results in wrong presumptions.
Actions. Our words and our actions flow from what is in our hearts. So by your actions you can see what is in your heart. Be more aware of what you are doing. Areas in which you realise you are not acting well towards your husband, ask the Lord to give you wisdom to do well to your husband instead. Use the list provided in our previous study on our husbands gaining trust in us. There are 94 ways to show love to your husband.
Summary. The most important aspect of doing good to your husband is to provide a continuous daily encouragement of Gods Word to him in some way. Have a devotion together, study a portion of Gods Word together, read a biblically based book together (there are many ways!). Also, remember to pray for him every day. Then as you grow in your relationship with the Lord, pray that your life, your actions, will reflect the change that God is doing in your life.
SELFISHNESS
Once you start examining your thoughts, words and actions. The areas where you find you are going wrong, you will realise that the root cause of your harmful ways is actually selfishness. We are by nature of the flesh selfish creatures, this part of us will rear its ugly head many times in the way that we conduct ourselves and love our husbands.
Philippians 2:1-11 (1) So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, (2) complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. (3) Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. (4) Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. (5) Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, (6) who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, (7) but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. (8) And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (9) Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, (10) so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, (11) and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father." ESV
So let us renew our minds with Gods word, be of one mind and having the same love. Humble yourself before God. Realise that you are bought with a price and do not belong to yourselves any more. Look at how to serve the Lord first and then your husband. Ask the Lord for a heart of a servant and do good to your husband and not evil. All for the Glory of our God
I find I must walk very softly. What absolute dedication of soul is required from one who would be as clay in the hands of the Potter, and who desires to have no will but His! Oh do pray for me that I may never for one moment look away from Jesus, nor cast away my confidence in Him! My own weakness is utter, but his strength is sufficient, and I do trust Him. To Sister, Millville N.J., May 19, 1868 |
Written by:
Natalie Rogers
